By Chris J Walker
Article from the ezinearticles
It's disappointing. And this disappointment can feel like we are failing in our work or failing in our relationship. It can birth two inappropriate reactions. One is depression, and the other is anger.
Labeling your disappointments is important because then, you have a positive choice in matters. You can either change your expectations so that reality is your new expectation (I recommend this) or, you can use the disappointment to fire up your anger to motivate you into some sort of action.
The most important element of this, is not to become down as a result of disappointment.
What we expect, emotionally and physically and spiritually for that matter, are our story. Even if we band together with a bunch of people who agree, we're still projecting our version of life onto life. And this is depressing.
Take, for example, the guy who thinks relationships should last forever. He gets a bad marriage and stays and stays. His expectations, and his disappointments reveal a conflict. He does all sorts of things to compensate. Hard work, sport, alcohol, parties. But underneath it all, he's disappointed in his marriage. At a healthy level he has two simple choices. Change the expectation or change the marriage.
Changing the expectation is deep and personal, because he's got all sorts of personal agenda's in his expectations. Including his own parents, his past, his values. People are often stuck here, but really, this would be the most evolved route.
Changing his marriage usually begins with trying to "fix" his partner. When this changes he turns to as many different forms of compensation that he can find "substitutes" - to survive in a place where what he expects and what he has, don't match. After some years of failing to be happy in his relationship, he may subconsciously sabotage the marriage in order to find a new one. This, eventually leads him to the conclusion that, it was his expectations that were the issue in the first place, not his marriage, because the second marriage ends up, in some ways, the same as the first.
Disappointment drives too much unnecessary change. When people hold tight their expectations and try to change the world to fit them, they stay unconscious and in very low, exhausting emotion, even if it looks like they want the best for everyone. Really, this individual is operating from disappointment which in turn is driving anger, which is motivating them to change the world. This is what we call, "high ideals with low intent."
Changing an expectation is hard. It means coming to terms with the status quo. You'll see how angry people are in their motives in life when you propose to them that they accept the status quo in life. Their venom is unbelievable. They defend their disappointments because they are motivated to change the world by them. This is like fighting for peace.
But, real change comes through acceptance. For example: there are bad people, unconscious individuals who are driven by bitterness and hate. The more we try to eliminate them, so that our expectations of a world without badness comes true, the more of them we breed. However, if we accept that there are going to be bad, unconscious hateful people around, we can do what is necessary to either help them or make the world safe, with them. The idea of eliminating them, just doesn't work.
Process
Go sit in nature and imagine all the things in your relationship, work, world and self that you are disappointed in. You may need a very big piece of paper to write them all down.
Now, you have your personal growth program for the next five years. How do you come to accept these issues that disappoint you?
The answer is simple. Using nature, find the gift to you, and the world in each of them. Most often you'll find that the thing that most disappoints you in yourself and others, breeds as its opposite the think you most like about people. So, the real cause of disappointment is the expectation that there can be something you really like in the world, relationship, family, work or self, without something you really don't like as the direct cause of it.
There's some inspirational thinking for you.
Chris Walker - http://www.innerwealth.com - For 30 wonderful years Chris Walker has helped bring the beauty and harmony of nature into the lives of thousands of people in all walks of life. He has helped people all over the world find, live and work with more spirit, inner peace and personal harmony. Since 1976 Chris has run training programs, guided people to the highest peaks in the world, taught executives about self mastery and helped many young people in his youth programs. He is dedicated to bringing people together in harmony with nature, helping them find their true nature and the nature of life.
Carrying a pack, discovering new trails, exploring the human spirit, dreaming with immensity, and gaining far away horizons: escaping the destiny of the sedentary, loving above all the supreme liberty of the human spirit at one with nature. This is Chris Walker's life!
Like the trails he explores with a pack on his back high in the mountains, unravelling the mysteries of harmony and focus at work or in relationship creates something special for any individual who decides to explore the wonders of it. A uniqueness, a resilience to the instability of conventional attitudes, a real freedom that only the human heart can fully understand.
Chris is a free spirit, a nomad. He follows his heart and helps others do the same. Are you ready to explore it? Chris Walker - http://www.chriswalker.com.au Guide, consultant, author, speaker.
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